


Hello, This is Oxiclean!

by blindewok



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, I Don't Even Know, I got bored, M/M, Oxijizz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 09:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6368605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindewok/pseuds/blindewok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has a stain. Let's call oxiclean!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello, This is Oxiclean!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katiebug445](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiebug445/gifts).



"Ah, shit." Dean had a problem. See, Dean was constantly home and never had time to date, so he was by himself  _a lot._

One night things got a little too.... _frisky._ He couldn't believe this happened! What was he 14 years old?! What mid-30 year old man jizzed on his own pants?!

Dean tried everything soap and water, hot water, lemon juice, and even hot sauce. This shit was not coming out. 

He walked into the laundry room and he spitted it. Oxiclean. Dean had already ruined the pants and by all means he should have just got rid of them. 

Should he just face himself with embarrassment and call someone to ask? That's when he looked on the box of Oxiclean and saw it had a number. Should he really fucking call this number? They'd never know him, hell they've probably heard worse, maybe. 

Dean gathered himself and dialed the number, "For customer service press 2 fo-", Dean pressed the button and felt like it took about five years. 

"Hello, thank you for choosing Oxiclean, this is Castiel, how may I help you today?" 

"Uh, I had a question about your product, well, uh, yeah so does it...get...semen..out of clothes?"

The other side of the line was silent for a minute. "On--one moment, sir." He swears he thinks he hears the guy laugh?? "Yes, sir. It removes semen. Just tell your wife or girlfriend to let it soak for about 5 minutes." 

"I don't have either of those. Thanks for your help, buddy." 

Dean's about to hang up when the man speaks up again, "You don't know who this is do you?" 

"Um? No? Should I? I just called about an enbarassing question and you're trying to start a conversation I ain't got time pal." 

The man on the other line let out a sigh. "Hello, Dean."

Recognition slowly hit Dean. "Cas." 

"Atta boy. Surprised it took you this long." Dean remained frozen on the phone. Cas. Cas Novak was the last guy he'd gone on a date with and then Dean had moved and lost touch. "I've heard of people waiting to call for another date but gotta say I don't think you sound desperate." 

Dean responded as if the breath had been knocked out if him, "Cas I am so sorry I wanted to call I wanted another date but things went out from under me so fast I never had a chance to think about myself and when I had time I thought about you I know it was one date but I really lik--", Dean stopped to breathe finally. 

"Good to hear from you too." Cas laughed quietly. 

"You work for Oxiclean support?" 

"Glamorous I know I know contain yourself but yes I do." 

"Wow this is weird. I don't mean weird to talk to you but weird way to finally talk to you again." 

"Hey. Can I give you my number number? Not a customer service line?" 

"I mean if you want yeah." 

Cas told Dean his cell number and Dean sent a text to Cas before hanging up to make sure he had the right number. "Later, Winchester."

Soon as Dean was getting ready to go soak his jeans a text came through. 

" _I hope your jizz comes out of your pants."_

This was a weird ass day...

**Author's Note:**

> I write more crack than actual fics these days


End file.
